Lazy: My new busy

Opening this "write new post" window is feeling so weird, so weird and yet strangely right too. Weird because it has been so long since my last post, but right because that's just how it has always felt. Like home. Like when you have been off on holidays and then you come home and it feels weird but strangely comforting to be there. "Weird and Home". or "Weird Home". In fact what home isn't a little weird? So I guess maybe just "home". Yeah, opening this window feel like home. 

Anyway, it's good to be home!

I can't use the "I've been busy - oh so busy" excuse for not dropping in for a while because let's face it.. I've not been busy at all! Between the migraines that give me, well, 0 motivation to do anything, and my MacBook having not yet arrived (meaning I can't study) and Bay being at daycare (because if I take him out for this small amount of time that I'm not studying I may lose his spot), I've done pretty much nothing! A little cleaning here and there, but mostly just laying around soaking up the empty hours and filling them with Lazy. 

I'm not used to being lazy, it is not because I am not a lazy person, but simply because I get so bored so easily. I usually do my best to fill my hours with things that matter; cleaning, studying, shopping, organising, helping people when I can, and when I can't be on my feet I like to do crafty things, this is where my Quiet Books and Felt Masks and All The Rest came from. Because I can't even watch T.V without doing something else at the same time. But I have just not wanted to leave bed these last two weeks. I'm beginning to really enjoy bed. I sent this email to my tutor this morning:

Hey _____,

Any news on my Mac?
Don't get me wrong, lazing around has its perks, but I'm worried I may get used to it.

Sami :-)

And it's true! I'm really starting to wonder how I am to go back to college daily and miss out on all this lovely resting time?! My migraines have certainly gone a bit easier on me while I have been lazing around - that is, until my lovely loud children come home after school anyway. 

But it seems lazy time is close to coming to an end. My lovely tutor replied that my Mac is currently at HQ. Hopefully this means I will be playing with the sexy new device by next week! :-D This is cause for celebration!!

It is Izzy's 7th birthday on May 28, just 9 days to go. She is having a sleepover on Friday the 30th. She has chosen to have just 2 friends over which has worked out wonderfully as Logan and I have come up with a lovely way to spend  the afternoon with the girls. I can't wait to share our plans with you all!! I am still trying to decide whether to share it as I move through the planning stages or to wait until it has all happened. I have always been terrible at waiting. So impatient I am. I bought Izzy's main birthday present the other day and it is killing me to hand it over already!

Anyway, it was lovely to be back and to share with you all a brief update, but I have more planning to do (from bed of course) before it is time to pick up the children from school.

Chat soon (I'll try not to leave it so long this time),

Sami :-) x

Just an update

I finally had my appointment today to find out the results of my MRI. It turns out that I have an absent diaphragma sellae. As far as I can understand it, this is a lid over part of the brain that is supposed to be empty, but because I am missing the lid, it if full of whatever fluid is in the brain. 

Yeah, I don't know much about it and I think I will be happy to keep it that way. I have a few friends, not naming names but you know who you are - that google health related things all the time and they always end up totally freaking themselves out so I know to stay away from google.

Anyway, the doctor told me that she doesn't know the significance of this, or where we go from here so she is sending me to a neurologist. Apparently this may be a big wait, like a few months. Great.

In other news, I stopped by a health shop today and spoke to a woman there about Zay. I told her what Im trying to do and how I'm having such a hard time doing it. I ended up buying some calm strawberry flavoured tablets and fish oil. Following that I went to the supermarket and ended up decided that for now I'm just going to try to cut out all preservatives and a lot of the sugar. Cutting all sugar doesn't seem like a possibility.

Oh and also.. I get my MacBook Pro soon! It has been ordered :-D I'm THAT excited! Until it arrives I'm sort of on a study break. Other than a few knowledge questions, there is nothing else I can do because I need my new Mac to start on the database units.

I really don't think I've got anything else at the moment. I started this blog as a way to get everything out, and I had a LOT to get out at the time, but as time has gone on, my migraines have gotten worse and just taken over. Everything else has taken a back peddle for me. 

I haven't worked on my quiet books since last year, I hardly am able to cook from scratch anymore and between my migraines, study, housework and the kids being off at school, daycare and friends houses, kids activities have become a bit of the past too. It actually really sucks. I want to go back to getting excited over coloured rice and felt food and stuff like that. Can I just quit everything else maybe?

Sometimes the kids growing up is an awesome thing. Sometimes it just sucks.

My wish for you.. Independence

I was only 16 when Logan and I first started dating, when I fell pregnant with Izzy and when we bought our first house. Yeah, we did it all young and quickly.

It was kinda awesome, doing it all so young. It was fun. I was a kid still, Logan only 18, so in a way I guess we grew up together. We grew from teens that slept half the day away on the weekends, ate footy pies from the petrol station for breakfast, drank each weekend, did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, to this, now, at 23 and 25. Mature, grown up. Working and studying hard, looking after three kids, drinking once every few months - and in much much smaller amounts so that we can still get up to the children the next morning, cleaning house and eating cereal for breakfast.

BIG change! And we did that together. And it was awesome.

But as awesome as it is to have that, I hope that Izzy doesn't.

Like I said, I was a kid when we started dating. I went from being a high school student living with her parents to Logan's mrs living with him in just a few months really. I feel like I have always had him. In July, we will celebrate our 8 year anniversary. Thats pretty crazy considering our ages, so it's always been him. 

He is who I tell my secrets too, he is who I turn to for comfort. He is who looks after me. He is who I miss after just a few hours apart. He is my best friend. He is a part of me. A big part. The most important part. 

I mean hey, when we have an argument - and we don't often at all - but when we do, when he pisses me off so much that I just wanna cry (I cry about everything ok? don't judge) and tell him to piss off, guess who I want to cuddle e better? Yeah, Logan. Sounds silly huh?

So can you see yet, why I don't want my daughter to follow in my footsteps? Why I don't want her to find her great love, her other half, while she is a teenager? 

No?

Three months before the kids and I moved to Queensland, Logan did. That was heart breaking for me. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Being apart from him that is. The way I describe him, as a part of me, those aren't just words, I don't say them lightly. I mean it, I mean it more than I can even explain. And so, having him gone? It was like part of me was gone. We talked every day, but it wasn't enough. I was so lost, I didn't know how to do every day things. For at least a month I didn't even watch tv. A few times I had to leave the kids with my bestie and housemate, and get in the car and go out, and just drive and drive and drive. I didn't think, I just drove. I tried to replace him with my friends, hanging out heaps kept me busy, but it didn't help me when I was alone at night. I felt like I couldn't make it through that time alone. I felt like.. I don't even know how to explain it. But it sucked.

My point is that I had never had any independence, I had never had to do anything myself, I never learnt that I could do anything myself. I always had him there to turn to when I needed, and suddenly I was so alone. Even my best friends couldn't provide me with the comfort I needed.

And that is why I want my daughter to experience independence. I want her to move out and live alone for a while. Not because I want her to be lonely, but because I want her to learn that she can do it. I want her to know that she doesn't need a man, that she is strong and independent and whole. I want her to know that if she goes through a break up or is apart from her partner from a long period of time, she will get through it just fine. I want her to enjoy spending time with herself.

I understand that any time apart/break up is hard after being together for a while. But I believe that it will be easier on her if she has already experienced independence. If she already knows that being alone isn't the end of the world.

By all means, I hope for her to have an amazing relationship like I do. I want her to have a wonderful man to lean on, someone that will understand her and care for her and be her whole world. But I want her to experience independence first.

On Private Parts and why I took it so far

The kids and I have had so many serious conversations lately. We tend to have these conversations little bits at a time. I don't want to overwhelm them with information and make them feel like I'm lecturing them so they get bored and stop listening, but I feel that what we are talking about is so incredibly important.

One such conversation is that of private parts. Of course there is the part of this conversation that everyone has with their children at some point. About how panties/jocks stay on and no one is to see or touch that part of their body. About how underwear is incredibly important under skirts and dresses and sticking penisis out at other people is very rude (yes, we have had to have that conversation in this house, because it seems that even 2 year olds and 4 year olds find wiggling it at people hilarious).

I've been meaning to have these conversations for a while now, but we never got far with them. Just the usual conversation was had. But the other day, after a big play outside with some other children from our complex, I heard my children whispering from behind the couch. I asked them what they were whispering about and they responded with "I don't want to tell you because it's rude"s. 

Yep. We know that's exactly when mum does need to hear about it. 

So I probed a little deeper until, after much promising on my behalf they they will not be in trouble, they eventually decided to give it up. Apparently one of the little girls they had been playing with (a five year old!!), had said something about oral sex. Or I should say, suggested it. Of course she didn't know what to call it. And yes, I'm rather worried about where this young child heard this from. 

Now obviously the usual conversation covers this, but I felt like this was an opening to take it further, so I did.

We started it at mouths. Mouths are private parts too. This is a hard one to explain to young children, because despite what they heard from the little girl, going so far as to actually be specific is too far for me at this stage, so we kept this one strait forward. Non-edible items do not go in your mouth. No one else can put things in your mouth. Kisses are special for family members only.

And then we moved onto hands. Hands are private parts too. Well they are now, anyway. I haven't perfected the way I go about this one yet. I haven't found a way to say this one that leaves me feeling like I've used the right words. But for now I'm going with private. They are private because they are yours, and because no one can make you do things with your hands that you feel uncomfortable doing. Or that you think may be wrong or rude. If someone wants you to do something with your hands that break any of the above rules then your breaking this one too. Pretty much.

And this is where we took this converstation to the point that some may see as too far. But I will explain why I don't see it that way soon.

Hugs are now limited too. Hugs are saved for family members and 'bestest friends'. There is to be no hugging random people, no hugging friends parents, no hugging teachers and so on and so fourth. 

And "I love you"s. Same rules apply as above.

And one last one. If you don't feel comfortable - don't do it. I will not be that parent that forces the child to sit on uncles lap or give the friend of the family a kiss goodbye. Other than basic politeness, my children to not have to interact with anyone if they do not feel comfortable in doing so. 

Now for my reasoning:

I will do anything it takes to keep my children from being vulnerable. I will do everything within my power to teach them to be strong, to be cautious, to be confident. I will do everything I can, to ensure that my children are not sucked in to a false sence of love from predictors.

I feel that by not setting these standards for my kids, I'm allowing them to be vulnerable. These are standards and values that my children will carry with them throughout their lives. And this is so incredibly important to me. We cannot ever be 100% sure that we are keeping our children safe from pediphiles or rapists. It is well known by all that these bad things happen anywhere. Everywhere. And that includes in their schools and even their homes. Our children need to have the knowledge and confidence within themselves to know what is right and wrong. To be able to keep themselves - as much as is ever possible - from being caught up in a situation where they are the victim. 

It is my job as their mother to do everything within my power and beyond it, to prevent said incidents and situations. 

And for this reason, not that they yet know that this is the reason, I have and will continue to encourage my children not to keep secrets from me or their father. I know that that's not something that I can prevent as all kids keep secrets, but I'll do my best to be there and to have them feel like I will listen to anything they have to say without judgement. 

That's all I can do. 

Just a moment of weakness

I am so tired, so so tired, and I want to write but I'm not sure how. I tried talking to Logan in the early hours of the morning. He is my person, but I couldn't do it. The words wouldn't come. Getting things out today have been hard. Impossible. And this blog, this blog is my diary. That's why it is called Diary Of An Overworked Mum, because it is my diary, my only diary. And I can only hope that the words that won't flow from my mouth, will from my fingers. Because I need to let them out.

But I still wonder at times how honest to be. I don't really know if there is a point where I should just keep things to myself rather than sharing them. On Facebook I believe there is, but this is my space. My space to be me. If only I could be certain that that is okay.

 You see, I haven't had much sleep in the last week and it has really run me down.

Last night I found out that my great aunt has only a day or so to live. Tumours have been found in her brain. 10 of them in fact. Being so tired means that I just cannot sort out how I'm feeling about the situation. Obviously I am sad, thats a given. I was never too close to her, I didn't keep in contact with her as I grew up, but I do have very fond memories of her from my childhood. Fond memories of the wonderful woman that she is. 

I am cut up about the news. But I'm confused, too. I hardly slept last night, I have hardly slept for days now, but last night was so much worse, and I am unsure of the meaning behind my emotions  I am unsure if I am this upset because she is dying, because of how horrible it must have been for her this last week, or because it has hit home hard. Probably all three.

See, I have migraines all the time. I have been to the doctors time and time again, many different doctors over the last almost 7 years, and they always end up doing the same thing.. brushing it off. Acting as though I am being dramatic, as though I am making it up. They tell me to take panadol, which does nothing to help, a few have offered medication to prevent them, but that never works either and so I don't bother continuing it. They might ask a few questions, but they never seem to care, they never take it seriously.

I have been taking Ibuprofen & Codine for months now, it is the only thing I have found that provides a little help. I know it is terrible for my body, but I have to lower the pain some how, there is no one available to take over my job as mum while I'm in bed unable to move, so what choice do I have? 

It surprises even me how well I have learnt to deal with the pain. How when a big one hits I stop and stand still for a minute, breathing and telling myself "you can deal with this, you have no choice, just get over it" and then I move on with my day. Pain that puts most people in bed isn't enough to make me stop my day anymore. Because life hasn't given me a choice. I have no one to help. Not one person. Because Logan has work to go to. Because he is all I have right now, and he is just too damn busy to take over my role as mum.

But I worry, because while it might not seem like a big deal to the doctors, it is to me. It makes my life so hard, I am so limited in what I do because I am just always in pain. My kids are always being told to be quiet, always in trouble for yelling and banging things.. and that isn't fair on them. And I hate that they are limited because of my pain. 

And really, having migraines daily is not normal, it just isn't.

I guess I worry that that will be me one day. One day soon. Lying on the hospital bed, leaving my family, all because the doctors just won't listen to me. And sure, it may not be so serious for me, but how can I know that? Maybe they are brushing it off because they have already ruled the more serious things out by asking the few questions they asked. But I wouldn't know because, along with their not really caring attitude, they don't bother to tell me that I'm sort of ok. They don't bring me comfort. They just stress me more because I leave thinking "why are you treating me like a child who is being overly dramatic about a scraped knee? why don't you care??". 

Maybe it is time for me to stop putting on the brave face I work so hard at. Maybe it is time for me to go in there, a mess, bawling my eyes out, so they see what Logan see's. So they maybe decide to take me seriously for once. Isn't that their job, after all?

So you see? I am sad, heartbroken really, I am torn up at how cruel life can be. How can such a wonderful woman, with such a kind heart, can have this happen to her. When all those terrible terrible people out there get to live their lives, happy and healthy.

And I'm scared. I have been scared for years now. But this, this makes it worse. And I need someone. But no one has the time. People have their own lives to live, and I need to let go of this moment of weakness and continue on with my life. Because that's all this is, a moment of weakness. One that I will burry as I do.

Because I have no choice.

Our Sundays

Sundays are our one day a week as a family. Monday-Friday the kids are lucky to spend 5 minutes with Logan and lately he has been working on Saturdays too, so they have seen him for about an hour or two before bed. For this reason, and because I don't see them anywhere near as much as I would like to either, we like to spend Sunday afternoons together. 

This afternoon we went down to the park, we took the kids scooters and soccer ball and just spent the arvo climbing on the rocks in the almost dry stream, racing around on the scooters, climbing trees, playing ball and myself taking many many photo's. A fair few of which turned out really well, so well that I wanted to share them. So here they are. Enjoy :-)

All it takes is a morning full of whining, fighting, messes and craziness to drive me up the wall and make me feel the need to run away and hide,
But then all it takes is moments like this, filled with smiles and giggles, kisses and I love you's to remind me why I'm here, why it's worth it.

All week I look forward to our Sundays together. Most Sundays we just absolutely cannot be bothered going anywhere and just want to head back to bed, but we force ourselves to get up and get ourselves and the kids ready and head out, and it is always so so worth it! 

Time to get into it!

I have had such a wonderful week, but it has gone so fast as it always does.

Movie Night

Last Friday night Izzy had a friend Shae* over. I think I was about as excited as the girls because it was the first time Izzy had invited a child for a sleepover. By the end of the night I was a little bit regretting agreeing to a sleepover on a night when Logan was working. Bay was determined to have Shae's little fan thing and Shae, not having any younger siblings was not used to little ones and didn't understand that he didn't understand not to touch other peoples things. This caused quite a headache (literally) for me. It wasn't so bad after dinner though, the boys headed upstairs to chill on the bed and watch Monsters Ink on one of the laptops, and I made popcorn for the girls as they snuggled up on the sofa bed with a pile of pillows and a few quilts to watch barbie.

Unfortunately Izzy fell asleep around 9pm and poor Shae was really upset. I had a lovely little chat with her and then called her mum to come pick her up. 
(I had a lovely little chat with her too, she is such a lovely lady from NZ and, wait for it.. she agreed with me that Queenslander's, at least where we live, are so hard to get to know and befriend haha! Good to know it isn't just me)

Saturday was a quiet day as Logan had to work all day and Izzy went up the road to another friends for a play. Sunday was just as quiet because Shae and her mum picked up Izzy nice and early and kept her until dinner time.

Monday I studied with Logan, Tuesday we went to the cinema to see Vampire Academy and then when I got home my new (to me) iPhone was in the mailbox. Yay!! 

Coffee Date

Yesterday Bay and I finished the grocery shopping and then finished up with a lovely little coffee date, one of my favourite parts of each week.

Today I dyed my hair, tanned my legs and relaxed, read and played with Logan's new MacBook Pro.

Oh, and because I've not been busy working on assignments I've actually managed to keep the house spotless, more or less. I can't believe it's almost the weekend again!! Time flies when you're having fun!

New Hair

Bay is back in nappies, at home at least. We were getting no where and I don't want to make the same mistake with him that I did with Izzy, so I refuse to push him. They are continuing to encourage him to use the toilet at daycare, but I am going to give him for a break for a few weeks and see how he goes then.

Tomorrow I'm heading back into the College with Logan. After such a relaxing, fun week, it's time to buckle down and get my assignments done! I have to admit, I am really nervous about it. My migraines have been so bad lately, every day this week my head has been thumping before 9am. I'm not exactly looking forward to sitting at the college in front of a computer for hours a day with a migraine! I meant to make a doctors appointment this week but I guess I was having too much fun.

My goal for the following week is to get this unit of study done without letting it stress me or get in the way of my 1 hour a night with my children. This week I was making printables to organise my life and that includes Monthly, Weekly and Daily planners. Hopefully, using those, I will be able to manage my time a bit better. 

You should never let something that needs doing become more important than someone that needs loving.

Wish me luck lovelies.


*Name is a pseudonyms

Feeling relaxed

Sorry I haven't been around much, I've been so busy lately, and so tired by the time Bay has fallen asleep at night.

I've had such a wonderful day today. I went to the movies with Logan to see Vampire Acadamy this morning, I was a bit shatted that we didn't realise the time when we had breaky because it meant that we were too full for popcorn.. And I loooorve cinema popcorn. 

I have been hanging out to see the movie since I first heard they were making it because I loved the books. At first we thought the movie was going to be a bad one because the acting is pretty bad, Zoey Deutch is such a good actor as far as I'm concerned but the same can't be said for Lucy Fry (maybe it is partly because she isn't what I expected Lissa to be like?). As the movie went on though it got better, we got used to Lucy playing Lissa and by the end I was hanging for the next movie. I hope they make it quickly!

After that we went shopping for new shoes for the boys because they both wore through the soles in their shoes in the same week (found some awesome sales at Kmart! Including a pair of sandels each for $2 a pair - and they are good ones too!), then when I arrived home I found my new iPhone in the mailbox. This was such an amazing feeling because a month or so ago I was walking with the kids and Zay nearly pushed Bay's stroller into a snake on the footpath  and when I reached out and grabbed him my phone smashed on the bridge so I have spend all this time with a very unreliable phone, which is so stressful when the school and daycare can't get in contact with me!

And then tonight the kids were pretty well behaved and Bay was asleep in his own bed by 8:17pm! And I didn't have to go to him once! This is such an amazing thing as he hasn't fallen asleep without getting out of bed at least 3 times, and by 9:30pm in so so so long! 

After such a good day I feel so relaxed! And tomorrow is Bay's day off daycare which I'm excited for! I've been so busy that I haven't planned any fun activities to do yet but I'm sure I will think of something. Him just being there makes me feel better.

Just a heads up, if you follow one section of my blog, say, 'home' then you won't receive the notifications for my 'kid spot' or 'recipes' and vice versa so if you are interested in any particular thing then go ahead and follow that certain one, but if you are interested in it all then you will need to specifically follow all three.

I hope you guys have had a wonderful day too, it is seriously amazing the difference a good day vs. a bad day can make on the way you feel as you climb into bed.

Yours in this crazy world of parenting,

Sami x

Words, Blogging & Lonliness

I love words. I love reading them, writing them by hand, typing them. I love talking (my Mum will confirm that - she always told me I talk too much, which is probably true). I love how words can express things so well, and also, I love how sometimes they just can't.

I'll never be a true writer, I'm not talented in writing, I don't have a way with words like many do, but that won't stop me from using them to express the way I feel, in the many ways that words can. 

I like writing things for myself, and I like writing for you too. I know I'm not writing some wonderful piece that will make millions flock here to read, but if even just a few of you read my words and tell me you liked them then that makes it worth it.

I've always had a few close friends in my life. They changed over the years, but I have never been alone. I've always had people who I can talk to without judgement and it's such a wonderful thing to have. Friends that are just there for you, there to listen, there to talk, there to sit in silence with you. That right there is irriplaceable.

Since being in QLD I have had to rely on written words so much more. Other than my man, other than my kids, I don't have anyone here. The few people I have met already have their lives with their friends in it and I just can't seem to fit in there. Though I have tried. I have tried making friends, and I like to blame my friendless-ness on QLDer's (well, I've never had an issue with making friends before!) but maybe it is the fact that it is just harder when we get older, or maybe it is me not getting out enough (obvs I'm a tad busy to be sweeping the streets for friends) or maybe they just don't like me for some reason? but whatever the issue is, it leaves me in the same place. Alone with my keypad.

And that is where my blogging started. I, of course, message my girls daily, how could I not? But there is a huge difference between hanging out with people, and just chatting via instant messages. The messages help. They keep me in contact with the people I love and they keep me from feeling alone at night while my man is at work, but they just don't quite fill the gap, almost, but not quite.

So I just decided maybe the thing to do here is to just do it more. To write more. So I found blogger, and I found you guys, and now this is what I do. Because I love words, because I love people, because I love to share my life. Because you, my readers, help to rid me of that void that is my loneliness. 

You don't do much to make yourselves known, but I see you there, and you help. And I hope that here, you may find words, if written poorly, that help you in some way. Even if it be fairly insignificant.

If you have been thinking about starting a blog, I say do it. Blogging for me has just been amazing. It is not just all the things I mentioned, but relaxing too. Sometimes I feel like I have no words available, like I couldn't possible find a way to express to you my feelings, my life. Sometimes when I have a terrible day, like today, I wonder how I could ever find a way to talk to you without sounding overly depressed and dramatic. Without being a downer. Boring. But I do (maybe, maybe you are bored?). 

Somehow the words just come to me. And they relax me. They leave me feeling just wonderful because surprisingly those shrinks who tell you to write things down, actually do know what their talking about. So give it a go!

The coolest thing about blogging is that unlike Facebook, your not writing just for your friends to read, you don't need to think about what they would and wouldn't be interested in, because your writing for the world. And your readers will find you. And there is just something so cool about that. Those people reading, they are not there pretending to be interested but really rolling their eyes, they are there because they want to be. Your supporters aren't people just trying to make you feel good because they are your friends or family and it's their job, they are doing it because they actually do believe in you. In your words.

This is something I want to get Izzy in on. Writing can give you so much. I want her to be able to express herself. I want her to know that her words are important. And I want to hear what she has to say!

Well, that's why I do this. What do you think? Is it for you?

Yours in this crazy crazy world,

Sami :-) x

What a day

Well oh my gosh. So frustrated.

I finally sat down to get working on my website today, seven hours later and I am just so over it! Because of course nothing is going right. And after 7 hours sitting at the table working on it my back is drilling. It's a good thing that I don't quit easily, because I wouldn't mind quitting right now.

Ah well tomorrow is a new day! Thankfully. Then that lovely weekend will be making an appearance again! Yay!

On the up side, Bay had a wonderful second day of toilet training. He had an accident this morning just after breakfast, then he went to daycare and at some point in the morning he had another accident and then that was it for the day, he spent the rest of it using the toilet like a pro! So so proud! I guess I picked the perfect time to get started! Wont be long now until nappies are a thing of the past! Now that is good news!

Logan went back to work last night after two weeks off and I was surprised at how well I just fell back into routine. I've gotta say, being at home alone at night certainly is a lot easier than it used to be. 

I know this isn't much of a post but I'm having so much trouble thinking and I'm yawning so often (I'm talking every like, 30 seconds) that I can hardly see what I'm doing. 

It's tiring work being a studying mum, or, I should just say, a Mum.

Yours in this crazy world of parenting,

Sami :-)

I made it through the day

So here we are at the end of day one of toilet training. I admit that it did get a little stressful by the end. After the first two wee's in the potty that was it. Suddenly it wasn't fun anymore so it didn't happen. I've chosen not to reward him with lollies and he doesn't like stickers, because I don't want the kids to learn that they should do things only when they receive material rewards, so without bribery, all I have left is a little hope. And of course the art of persuasion. 

You know what though? We will get there! It's only day one and for day one he did a wonderful job. Tomorrow he will be back at daycare so hopefully all the other children going to the toilet will encourage him to go too. Just in case, I have packed his bag with every change outfit he has. Which probably isn't as many as you would assume.

But that isn't all the excitement that happened today.

This afternoon when Logan went out to pick Izzy and Zay up, and I was out the back hanging washing, Bay moved his chair to the front door, opened it and went for a wander.

So of course I freaked out and went looking for him. First off I should probably mention that we live in a gated community where the speed limit is only 5km/h and there is a huge sign out the front warning cars to be careful as children are more often than not playing on the road. For this reason, I was not as freaked out as I would have been if we were living on an ordinary street. That's not to say that I wasn't freaking out.. but I wasn't quite at the point of calling the police.

Anyway, when I did find him he was walking with a very judgmental woman who had obviously never made a mistake in her life. Despite Bitchy McBitch needing to have her say about my poor parenting, and probably planning on evil eyeing me and every other young parent from now on (if she didn't already), I had my boy back! So whatever.

 I'm honestly surprised he got as far as he did, he had no shoes on and the road was burning my feet. All he had for me though was smiles and giggles so I guess it all worked out in the end.

When I got home I put a nail in the wall up high near the front door with the screen door key hanging from it. Problem Solved.

Well I best be getting some sleep I guess, I really need to get my website started tomorrow. Wish me luck!


Yours in this crazy world of parenting,

Sami :-)

Not so perfect

A few days ago I had a realization. I realized that I'm an adult, this is my house, they are my children, this is my life and I can do what I want. Now, being 23 this realization may have come a little late, but i did realize that I don't have to be perfect, neither does my house and neither do my children.

I mentioned this to Logan and he just had a laugh at me. He says that he has been trying to tell me this for years (which is true), but he doesn't realize quite how serious I am, quite how much this means to me. I feel like I have woken up from a tired, stressful daze! I have spent years being OCD over everything.. my house, my car, my kids, my husband and myself, and suddenly it's like a whole weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Today, for the first time in about 6 years, my kids toys are on the floor, also a blanket and a few cushions are in the middle of the lounge room floor. And guess what? I'm cool with it! Wow! Usually I would be freaking out over the mess and pulling my hair out but today? Today I'm writing a post. Because you might think this sounds incredibly silly, but to me it is an amazing feeling. For the first time in so so long, I am not stressed about how the house looks or how the children are behaving and it is just making everything feel so much easier. 

I believe it is making my children feel happier too.

You win some you lose some...

So I've pretty much spent this whole day, this day that was supposed to be spent on my assignments, blogging. On the plus side, I have this cool new blog to share with the world.. and I got to use my new skills in HTML to add that lovely menu bar so that you can access my recipes on a separate blog from here, which is pretty cool..but on the downside, I am no closer to finishing my website for my assignment then I was 24 hours ago.

Yeah, Shit.

Ah well, you win some, you lose some hey?

And right now I should be getting ready to take Izzy to the doctors to see what the sore on her eye is, but I'm still sitting here instead. Tapping away at the keys. It will all end in a mad rush no doubt, but I honestly just cannot be bothered getting up! I did try talking Logan into taking her but he says that wouldn't be fair because he picked the kids up from school so even though I dropped them off I guess it is still my turn.

I'm not always this lazy I swear (or maybe I am..)!

Oh and after taking her to the doctors I have to pick up Bay and then organize something for dinner. For a person who loves organization, I really am not doing too well right now.

But hey, I added that menu bar! All by myself. Yep, I'm proud.

So proud infact, that I required not one, not two, maybe not even three, but more like four high fives from the husband. Yep, four, cos that's how cool I am today.

Yours in this crazy world of parenting,

Sami :-)

A little about me & my family

Some of you may know me, if not in person, then from A Little Bit of Everything. If you do, Welcome to my new blog. If you don't, well, Welcome to my new blog!

You know when you're writing something and you know there is something wrong but you just can't fix it? Or fixing it just seems like, too much, and so you know within yourself that you just have to start again, even if everyone else doesn't see it?

Yeah, that.

Just, that.

Well anyway, lets get on with it yeah?

For those of you know do not know us, HI! I'm Sami, I love crafts and the kitchen, organization and being busy. I'm currently studying, four days a week on-campus and three off, to obtain my diploma of Website Development. Since becoming a mum just after my 17th birthday, I have completed year 12 and obtained my Diploma of Business and Diploma of Management, as well as worked in a number of hospitality businesses.

My loving husband (who is not quite my husband), Logan. He is a hard worker and a wonderful father. He is funny, the coolest nerd I've ever met and holy crap I love him. Like that kind of full on love that knocks you on your arse and then just as you think you can get back up and breath, it does it again. That kind of love. He isn't around too much as he works night-shift but we get by.

My daughter, Izzy, is the eldest child, although being a good influence for her brothers isn't at the top of her agenda. She is beautiful, of course, and loud, and funny and oh so loving. She is a girly-girl but also a bit of a rough nut. And a sook, boy is she a sook! But it's okay because she gets it from her Mumma. Izzy is in year 2 at school this year and is so far a high achiever. I couldn't be prouder.

Zay is my big four year old boy. He is over-energetic, LOUD, also loving and very sooky. I guess he got it from me too. He loves to do anything so long as it's with other people as he isn't a fan of being alone at all. He just started Prep this year and is doing wonderfully. He is so enthusiastic about learning which is just beautiful to see.

Bay is my baby. He will be three in just a few short weeks and I'm having one hell of a time accepting that. He is currently going through a 'scream-at-everyone-for-everything' stage, which is just adorable as I'm sure you can imagine. Bay is a serious mumma's boy which I love as the other two have become fairly independent in their 'old age'. He just moved up to the Sr Kindy room at his daycare this year, which is totally terrible for me as it means I have to accept the fact that he is no longer a baby, but wonderful for him because it means he gets to play in the big kid playground with the cool pirate ship sandpit.

Well that's my family and a small introduction into my life. I hope to see you around here again.


Yours in this crazy world of parenting,

Sami :-)