Words, Blogging & Lonliness

I love words. I love reading them, writing them by hand, typing them. I love talking (my Mum will confirm that - she always told me I talk too much, which is probably true). I love how words can express things so well, and also, I love how sometimes they just can't.

I'll never be a true writer, I'm not talented in writing, I don't have a way with words like many do, but that won't stop me from using them to express the way I feel, in the many ways that words can. 

I like writing things for myself, and I like writing for you too. I know I'm not writing some wonderful piece that will make millions flock here to read, but if even just a few of you read my words and tell me you liked them then that makes it worth it.

I've always had a few close friends in my life. They changed over the years, but I have never been alone. I've always had people who I can talk to without judgement and it's such a wonderful thing to have. Friends that are just there for you, there to listen, there to talk, there to sit in silence with you. That right there is irriplaceable.

Since being in QLD I have had to rely on written words so much more. Other than my man, other than my kids, I don't have anyone here. The few people I have met already have their lives with their friends in it and I just can't seem to fit in there. Though I have tried. I have tried making friends, and I like to blame my friendless-ness on QLDer's (well, I've never had an issue with making friends before!) but maybe it is the fact that it is just harder when we get older, or maybe it is me not getting out enough (obvs I'm a tad busy to be sweeping the streets for friends) or maybe they just don't like me for some reason? but whatever the issue is, it leaves me in the same place. Alone with my keypad.

And that is where my blogging started. I, of course, message my girls daily, how could I not? But there is a huge difference between hanging out with people, and just chatting via instant messages. The messages help. They keep me in contact with the people I love and they keep me from feeling alone at night while my man is at work, but they just don't quite fill the gap, almost, but not quite.

So I just decided maybe the thing to do here is to just do it more. To write more. So I found blogger, and I found you guys, and now this is what I do. Because I love words, because I love people, because I love to share my life. Because you, my readers, help to rid me of that void that is my loneliness. 

You don't do much to make yourselves known, but I see you there, and you help. And I hope that here, you may find words, if written poorly, that help you in some way. Even if it be fairly insignificant.

If you have been thinking about starting a blog, I say do it. Blogging for me has just been amazing. It is not just all the things I mentioned, but relaxing too. Sometimes I feel like I have no words available, like I couldn't possible find a way to express to you my feelings, my life. Sometimes when I have a terrible day, like today, I wonder how I could ever find a way to talk to you without sounding overly depressed and dramatic. Without being a downer. Boring. But I do (maybe, maybe you are bored?). 

Somehow the words just come to me. And they relax me. They leave me feeling just wonderful because surprisingly those shrinks who tell you to write things down, actually do know what their talking about. So give it a go!

The coolest thing about blogging is that unlike Facebook, your not writing just for your friends to read, you don't need to think about what they would and wouldn't be interested in, because your writing for the world. And your readers will find you. And there is just something so cool about that. Those people reading, they are not there pretending to be interested but really rolling their eyes, they are there because they want to be. Your supporters aren't people just trying to make you feel good because they are your friends or family and it's their job, they are doing it because they actually do believe in you. In your words.

This is something I want to get Izzy in on. Writing can give you so much. I want her to be able to express herself. I want her to know that her words are important. And I want to hear what she has to say!

Well, that's why I do this. What do you think? Is it for you?

Yours in this crazy crazy world,

Sami :-) x